Well, that was a hiatus.

I'm not dead! :)

Just putting that out there.

But yeah, this has been a long bloggery hiatus. I thought the blog was done for, and though it would have been funny to end my blog with a post called "Finals", I thought, nah. I'm just going to surprise everyone (all those nonexistent people who read my blog) and post here again. Maybe even keep posting.

But I don't know, that's such a commitment.

Also considering all the insane work I have to do, I shouldn't even be doing this now. I really really should be doing homework.

But I just had to not do homework for a second.

So here I am.

And maybe I'll come around here again soon.

Finals

A final is like everything bad about the end of the year all combined into one annoying test.

And my final week starts tomorrow. Joy.

I guess I'll make it through. Whenever I have to do something annoying I always think "it'll be over soon. And then I won't have to deal with it any more.

But there's something about finals that sure is... well, final. :)

I Guess One Post Just Wasn't Enough.

Okay, so today is one of those rare double post days.

That was a cool poem, but I still don't know exactly how I feel about life.

One day things will seem one way, and the next day it'll all be completely different. I guess that's the way I am normally, never really being able to decide how I feel. But when a big change is occurring, I get even more fickle. I'll have a really crappy day, followed by a really good one.

And it's hard, because things are always changing, and I never really know what tomorrow will bring.

But since I'm on a positive mood now, I'm going to say tomorrow will bring good things.

Probably.

Endings

Since it's almost the end of my school year, and I'm not quite sure how to feel about that, here's a poem about endings:

So much has happened
So much has changed
This ride has been amazing
Exhilarating
But now it's slowing down

And in these final seconds
I'm just not sure of anything
I wish it would just end
But I also wish
It could last forever

And I don't know
What that means
But anyway
It's all ending
And there's nothing I can do
To stop it.

Storytelling!

I'm doing something out my school called MOTH.

And no, it's not a science program where I study bugs, though that would be cool.

It's a storytelling program. And don't ask me why it's called MOTH, because I still don't know.

It's really cool, but I always get kind of nervous before the actual performance, when we have to go up on the stage and tell a story in front of a bunch of people. It's hard.

But it is definitely worth it. I also get to help the other MOTH participants prepare their stories, and it's really cool to hear how different they all are. Some funny, some sad, some optimistic. It's like where trying to cover all of the emotions that exist in one night.

And of course we aren't covering ALL OF THEM, but still, there's a lot of depth. And depth is something I really like. As I may have mentioned before on this blog, I think everyone has some depth in them. And MOTH is one of the places where all that depth comes out.

Out of It

Today, I was out of it.

Out of it is a really weird expression that I like to use. Because it's not clear what it actually means. Out of it? Out of what exactly? Out of life? I guess, in a way.

I usually use "out of it" to describe days when I feel like I'm not in reality, that I'm just in a dream, and I'm kind of stumbling through it. It sometimes just happens, when I feel really tired or bored, or both.

There are just some days like that when life seems like nothing.

But after those times, there's often some kind of change. And life feels like something again.

Pressure

Right now in science class I'm learning about pressure. Specifically, air pressure.

But there are so many different types of pressure. Air pressure, time pressure, peer pressure, blood pressure.

The word is full of PRESSURE.

People are always saying "I can't work well under pressure," but that's kind of general. Do you not work well under a time limit? Or when the stakes are high? Or when someone is literally pushing down on your head?

Okay, so probably not the last one. But still, everyone probably has some kind of pressure that they can't work well under. I know that sometimes I can't work very well under the type of pressure that involves other people. I almost always make some mistake when I play a piano piece in front of people, even if I can play it perfectly alone.

It's that pressure.

There will always be pressure, but I think people can get used to it. Think about this: air pressure has been pushing on us since we were born. But we don't feel it, because we're used to it. Maybe other pressure is like that too. It will always exist, but it won't always be felt.